Abramelin, day 133

Morning rite went well. Managed to do it right around dawn, head back to bed, then get up in time for 30 min of cardio.

Noon rite went well. Work was a bit more slow than usual, many people working from home or out today. I got to get my walk during lunch, yoga when I returned home from work.

The workouts, walks, and audiobooks in the car are assisting with what is an increasingly stressful situation. I am now trying to balance a very long day with downtime, and I’m back to the “working two jobs” between the full time job and the side business. I got VPN to work on my laptop and I am hoping a bit further down the road I can work from home once a week on a semi-regular basis; that would help me out a great deal. I feel stretched a bit too thin right now. At any rate, it’s keeping me away from being overly social; something which at this stage is probably good for me.

Evening rite went well. I have realized, however, what I have been craving for so long: freedom. I am living under too many restrictions with the new job right now, and unless a compromise is made I have no idea what I will do.

Abramelin, day 132

Morning rite went well, but I barely managed to get up for it. Did some cardio before I left for work.

Noon prayer rite went well, went for walk with my boss after. He seems pretty cool.

I’m realizing more and more that I need to be far, far better with time management with the changed schedule. Free time passes before I know it. I got dinner and my workout for the day done, and tried to do as much as possible before I relaxed for the rest of the evening.

I’ve been listening to audiobooks from Dr Wayne Dyer during my commute to and from work. I REALLY like him. Wishes Fulfilled I think was written for everyone doing the Abramelin.

Evening rite went well. I addressed some anxieties and felt much better after.

Abramelin, day 131

Morning rite went well, and I was entirely too glad to do it. I have some water I’ve blessed in honor of Apollo sitting on his altar in there, and it comes in handy, it really does. More really screwed up dreams, really screwed up. Purification is a must. It has to be a constant at this point. Purification and potentially banishing.

Noon prayer rite went well, and my walk after did me good. I must remember to put my energies where they will best help me and others versus giving it to leeches, psychic vampires, parasites, and the unbalanced. I also must remember that I’m on a quest not to shut the world out but to let it in, because it’s the only way I’m going to achieve true manifestation.

More family drama, some of it spilling over me but I’m still in the calm of the storm.

I am learning that obstacles and the downers are reminders; even they can push you forward and remind you of what you’re up against and why. It’s beyond freeing to realize this. I keep on going.

Evening rite went well.

 

Abramelin, day 130

Morning rite went well.

I am slowly integrating everything together: the job, the new schedule, the physical fitness, the meditation, etc. I take advantage of the car drive to listen to good audiobooks on personal and spiritual development. I still have concerns on taking a week off from work but it sounds like I have a cool enough boss to get away with it. I cannot get away with two weeks, however, and my reasons are financial: since I am a contractor, I won’t get paid. I’d miss half a month’s worth of pay. Just can’t do it. At least with the side business I can horde money away in the meantime and see if I can do some overtime in the weeks before and after to make up for it.

Noon prayer rite went well, did my usual walk after.

I feel a lot calmer these days, a lot more content. I’m not without my stresses, but I’ve found going with the flow is a lot easier than freaking out.

Evening rite went well.

 

Abramelin, day 129

I woke up at dawn on the dot, so I managed to get enough water in me to think straight in order to do the morning rite. Went well.

I had a very strange, very vivid dream afterward which was entirely on the astral, knew I was dreaming, etc. Some of those purification issues have come up again. Interesting.

Noon rite went well, but was delayed by quite a bit due to a two hour call with my mom. The amount of family drama that has been going on has been escalating to daytime tv drama levels. I am now physically and mentally in pain; I need a hot bath and a glass of wine, but Abramelin. I could do just the hot bath maybe with some kombucha from Whole Foods? Tea? Yes, tea.

My mom reminded me of someone whom I was very good friends with in high school and lost touch with them sometime while I was in college. Found him on LinkedIn, and he’s local to me. Small, weird world I live in.

And today I get an invite to be one of the admins of a page called Pythia, do oracles on behalf of Apollo. This is the second Apollo priestess related thing I’ve been invited to join in the past few weeks that can transform into a Big Deal. Apollo is the god I’ve gone on a divinatory/psychic path for; I’ve always had gifts in that respect and after he came into my life, that path became very much associated with him. Moments after I invite several people to like the page, I got a comment from someone that both touched and overwhelmed me. It may have been the best compliment I’ve received in a very long time.

I also finally got the laundry done.

Evening rite went well.

Abramelin, day 128

Morning rite went well. I slept for almost 8 hours straight and woke up still tired.

I almost missed noon rite, and did it later than expected but at least did it in my temple room. Spent a good chunk of the day in the car listening to spiritual dev on audiobook.

Today was fasting and purification bath. Was entirely too happy to end the fast at sunset.

Gaining more insights into the whole spiritual into the material world and the interconnectedness of things, why I must stay in the world for manifestation. It’s a matter of receiving, not projecting. I try too hard.

Evening rite went well.

Abramelin, day 127

I dreamed that I had gained the ability to not only teleport, but travel through time. I began testing it in small increments, being fifteen minutes late to be somewhere, and then teleporting there 30 minutes prior so I would be on time. I wonder if this is related to those stupid trying to make my plane dreams.

Morning rite went well.

Noon prayer rite went well also, and afterwards was a social outing for my new job. I can’t help but think to myself that for some reason, it is VERY important to my HGA to connect with people and be social in a meaningful way. I did learn that I am definitely in a very cool job with some genuinely nice people, and I had a great time. I have higher hopes now that this will work out in the long term.

I am processing a lot right now and still trying to get my thoughts together on all of it, but I feel like I made necessary connections to various things I couldn’t before and in fact struggled with.

Tomorrow I plan to do the fasting and purification stuff. I am strangely looking forward to it.

Evening rite went well.

Abramelin, day 126

Morning rite went well, was up at dawn yet again. I am not getting enough sleep by far, and it needs to stop before my immune system goes to shit. My body has a way of shutting itself down when it’s being put through too much.

Noon prayer rite went well. Afterward I went outside for a walk and dealt with my purification needs/troubles. Some reminders of why I am doing this rite were nice–not that I needed them, but it emphasizes and highlights certain things.

I get that I need to be well rounded and be in the world, “wax on wax off”, and learning to crawl before I can fly. I’ve been through a lot, gained a lot, throughout this experience. But I am painfully aware that I have a LONG way to go and I can’t see myself obtaining K&C in two months’ time. I’m sure a lot can happen in 2 months, but I am at this stage both skeptical and pessimistic.

Evening rite went…okay, but there was a fair amount of ranting. I am frustrated. I am not ungrateful to be where I’m at, but I am painfully aware of how much further I have to go, and it’s quite a long way.

 

Abramelin, day 125

Morning rite went well, but I struggled to get in there. I’m having a VERY hard time waking up and staying awake this week. I’m guessing it’s the new schedule and my body finally saying “no more” to the interrupted sleep and the not enough sleep.

Noon prayer rite went fine.

Job stuff seems to be going well. I work with very nice people so far. The test will be, of course, time.

Still need a fuckton of purification and cleansing. Holy hell.

Evening rite went well.

Abramelin, day 124

Morning rite went well, but the interrupted sleep is not doing me any favors.  I am going to have to get to bed much, much earlier to combat this.

Noontime prayer rite went fine, went for walk outside after.

I am badly in need of increased purification; for whatever reason I am back on radar again. I must be making significant progress. I just love pissing off all the right people/forces! Mini purification cleansing in the shower, but it’s not enough.

New job continues to be sane. I hope this trend continues.

Evening rite went well. Gods help me.