So how DO you do magic, anyway?

In one of my most recent posts, I covered how magic is about creating connections between you and the force you’re invoking. And in all honesty that covers more or less some of the science and theory behind how to get this stuff to work, but it leaves one question:

But how do you DO magic? I mean, really?

At some point people may realize that it doesn’t matter what a book says or how you do a particular ritual, there’s some underlying actual juice that’s critical to making it all happen. And that all comes from the magician/witch. Otherwise you’re just blindly waving your hands in the air like you just don’t care, except that you most likely do. You really, genuinely care, your hands are in the air, but you can’t quite get that connection going. This could be you trying out divination, throwing out random cards from a tarot deck and reading a book on what they mean, and it’s still not happening. You can have the so-called right tools, be doing things during the correct astrological timing, but nothing’s jelling. Sure, there’s something to “faking it until you make it” but the reality is that unless you figure out how to flip that switch within you and get your shit flowing, it’s not going to.

Some may be reading this and concluding that maybe this “juice” can be learned, or maybe you’re just born with it–perhaps both. Others may say some have more talent in one arena that another–and that’s certainly the case. Not everyone was cut out to perform divination; some may find that their precognitive skills are nada. On the other hand you may be someone whose psychic skills are so keen they terrify you, but good luck doing anything more than accidentally making water goblets explode. Then there are those of us who are natural mediums, but that could be a whole other blog post entirely.

And here comes the potential controversy of this blog post: yes, I’m afraid it’s true, not everyone is cut out to be a magician or a witch. This shit is just plain and simple not for everyone, and merely imagining stuff in your head and going through hours of ritual isn’t necessarily going to work let alone have you actually doing magic. However, odds are very likely if you’ve been drawn to this stuff for some time now and SOME things have happened to you, you probably qualify and possess that necessary quality that allows you to make this stuff happen. It’s just a matter of figuring out what helps you to flip that switch and get everything flowing. Or maybe the switch is flipped but sometimes get stuck halfway, or on vs off, or the channels just need cleaning.

Some of us are very, very lucky and have found themselves doing stuff since their childhood or otherwise got involved relatively early enough in life. They are naturals, and maybe later in life–perhaps when they hit puberty–they started reading a few books and experimenting, and voila! Here they are today. And I say with absolutely no ego whatsoever that yes, I am one of those lucky people. There are drawbacks to being one of those sorts, however, and one of those drawbacks is figuring out how to teach people who want to either learn new skills or refine old ones precisely how to do it. I am hoping that by just talking about my own experiences I can help others make sense out of theirs, and provide them with insights on how to make it “click”. People like myself who have been doing this for a while can easily take how they do things for granted, and it can cripple not just their attempts at communicating it with others, but can make reconnecting a serious challenge if you’re forced out of it due to extreme stress or trauma. And sadly I have been there, done that, and it was terrible beyond any words I can use. But in the process of clawing my way out I learned a lot about how this stuff works for me.

I have found–at least for myself–that much of this stuff is subconscious. Some of the most amazing, fantastic stuff I’ve ever done was when I wasn’t very aware of what I was doing, if at all. I was spaced out, tipsy, not paying attention–in other words, in an altered state of consciousness. Figuring out how to harness that and get it in alignment with your will is half the battle. This is why some will say that yes, you need to learn how to meditate, you need to do personal development, perhaps learn self-hypnosis or NLP, and hells yeah you need to figure your shit out AND this shit called magic. In short, if you can figure out how to drop in and out of altered states at will and know your mind well enough to figure out the right “note” to hit that’s the same frequency as what you’re trying to accomplish, this will help you out a lot.

If this is something which you know you’re not good at, don’t worry–I know of a lot of longtime magicians and witches who struggle with this and find it difficult to get into the right state, easy to get jostled out of it, and find it that much harder to get back into. It’s something I have to learn to be mindful of when I do group ritual with folks as I found out that not everyone can dip in and out like I can out of so-called “ritual mindset” with ease, and I could potentially say or do something not ritual related that will jostle someone out of theirs. And if they can’t get back in as easily and as quickly as I can, I just screwed them up and threw them off track. Oops.  I had to learn this the hard way, by pissing off other people I was doing ritual with. 😀 If you’re entirely solitary, so much the better. But I’ve found doing magic with others to be a fascinating and educational experience in how others work and perceive things.

For starters, so much of magic and psychic work is figuring how you sense the world around you and what your primary or strongest senses are. Some people are more visual, others auditory, then there’s more of a sensory “feeling” experience. It may not even be a physical, bodily sensation but some other sense of “feeling” inside of you, running through you. Maybe the only way you can discuss it is through analogies to other things, whether it be temperature, emotions, experiences. It may be that people who come here from having had psychic experiences and know how to sense and feel energy have it made while the rest have to figure out how to have that. It also may be that it’s just easiest to learn that when you’re younger and your brain isn’t so formed, rigid, and solid. If your inner child is either suffering, dead, or in a coma, best of luck to you–you’ll probably struggle and I bet you are already. But that’s the part of you that remembers another way of thinking before other patterns and programming seeped in, and there’s real scientific data behind hypnotizing someone back to a particular age and certain things that were true then come back. Get back there any way you can, and regain that fluidity of consciousness. If you’re a cynical bastard you can stay a cynical bastard if you want, but you’ll need to rein that in and become more flexible if you want to become any better at this shit. It doesn’t mean embracing rainbows, tie dye, and Birkenstocks, but it DOES mean embracing a wider reality out there and not limiting yourself or the possibilities in it. If you are already feeling frustrated reading this, start now, start today, work on getting it done. Find out why that attitude is there to begin with and get rid of it. If it requires healing, get that healing going. And know that it’s okay if you don’t get it all done in one day, week, or year.

If you know how you generally perceive the world, you’re in luck: you’ll know if you are more visual, more sensory “feeling”, etc.: “I see you”. “I feel you”, “I hear you”. Maybe you have some combination of a few, or maybe you know for a fact that some things you just struggle with, like visualization. In that instance, find out if visualizing concepts vs a literal image work better for you. If you want to visualize wavy lines or an ocean but can’t, think about how oceans and water feel, how they make you feel, and what sorts of sensations those conjure up and use that as a template. I did this technique while running an online Zener test on myself to see how it would rate my ESP skills, and it improved my score significantly. While I am not terrible at visualization and do a pretty good job, I do much better feeling/sensing things and analyzing the input that way. It’s far more abstract but that just may be how my mind works.

Working all of the elements in a particular ritual with various correspondences and symbols operates much like the example above but in the reverse order. Instead of having a particular thing and getting a whole bunch of feelings, symbols, and imagery on it, you’re instead taking those feelings, symbols, and imagery to conjure the thing. And there you have it, my best attempt to describe how I “do” magic.

Of course the reality is that you’re not “doing” magic as much as being magic. And it’s why it takes a lot of discipline, practice, sweat, and tears. While this blog post may not necessarily describe everyone’s experience, maybe it’ll help someone out there to make that own connection to theirs or fine tune it–or start a very interesting discussion on how all of this works “under the hood”.

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Abramelin, day 149

Morning rite went well.

Due to life circumstances, noon was a prayer rite in the car but done nonetheless.

I have realized that I am on autopilot. I have truly been reset to the way I was prior to what I refer to as The Incident, before 2007, and I don’t know how to properly integrate it with everything that’s happened since. I babble in social settings, at work, I can’t shut the fuck up. Am I overcompensating? Am I donning the “this is my public space, I swear I haven’t checked out due to Abramelin”? I don’t know. It’s almost like I’m manic.

Attended a ritual in honor of Diana, received a most intriguing oracle, could not come back to earth or ground after that ritual. It was intense, very intense.

Evening rite went well. I have a lot to chew on about what happened during that rite and other things, crashed for about 8-9 hours of sleep that night.

Abramelin, day 131

Morning rite went well, and I was entirely too glad to do it. I have some water I’ve blessed in honor of Apollo sitting on his altar in there, and it comes in handy, it really does. More really screwed up dreams, really screwed up. Purification is a must. It has to be a constant at this point. Purification and potentially banishing.

Noon prayer rite went well, and my walk after did me good. I must remember to put my energies where they will best help me and others versus giving it to leeches, psychic vampires, parasites, and the unbalanced. I also must remember that I’m on a quest not to shut the world out but to let it in, because it’s the only way I’m going to achieve true manifestation.

More family drama, some of it spilling over me but I’m still in the calm of the storm.

I am learning that obstacles and the downers are reminders; even they can push you forward and remind you of what you’re up against and why. It’s beyond freeing to realize this. I keep on going.

Evening rite went well.


Abramelin, day 126

Morning rite went well, was up at dawn yet again. I am not getting enough sleep by far, and it needs to stop before my immune system goes to shit. My body has a way of shutting itself down when it’s being put through too much.

Noon prayer rite went well. Afterward I went outside for a walk and dealt with my purification needs/troubles. Some reminders of why I am doing this rite were nice–not that I needed them, but it emphasizes and highlights certain things.

I get that I need to be well rounded and be in the world, “wax on wax off”, and learning to crawl before I can fly. I’ve been through a lot, gained a lot, throughout this experience. But I am painfully aware that I have a LONG way to go and I can’t see myself obtaining K&C in two months’ time. I’m sure a lot can happen in 2 months, but I am at this stage both skeptical and pessimistic.

Evening rite went…okay, but there was a fair amount of ranting. I am frustrated. I am not ungrateful to be where I’m at, but I am painfully aware of how much further I have to go, and it’s quite a long way.


Abramelin, day 76

Morning rite went well.

Lots of calls today with recruiters, phone screening tomorrow and Friday, next Tuesday I go to Career Source for the mandatory unemployment benefits seminar thing where they get to tell me how to job hunt. I could run that seminar at this point, unfortunately.

Realizing how ridiculously tense I am. Not physically, but mentally. It’s definitely impacting the work. I need to be able to relax, but apparently that’s not a natural state for me these days. I will have to continually remind myself so that it becomes such again. I mention this because I have realized today that it’s almost like I’m clenching a fist, and in doing so I’m blocking out a LOT of input coming in psychically. In a “natural” state, the input is far more than I normally get. It’s like psychic exercising, or something. I think whatever I’m doing with the Abramelin is obviously pumping up the volume but I’ve been too tense to actually just let it in and do its thing in regards to my psychic abilities and awareness.

Which. Explains. Everything.

I will need to be mindful and monitor this as often as I can, and just get used to being in a more relaxed state, and stop shutting everything out. Simply put…I need to let go.

Wow. Wow. Wow.

Evening rite went well.

Abramelin, day 72

I may be in this for the 18 month experience and if that’s the case, that’s okay. How will I know if I’m done baking, anyhow? I guess I’ll play it by ear.

Morning rite went well, up at dawn. Did some reading of my notes and realized that I’m supposed to be spending one day a week fasting. Oops, I thought that was only phase three. I am so physically active that the idea of not eating for a whole day goes against everything I know about health and fitness. Given how many events take place on weekends for my coven, I think I’ll choose a random day each week and see how that goes, and just drink water and juices.

My parents were not successful in their house hunt and want to come up again in a few weeks. I enjoy seeing them to an extent but it feels like my personal space is being invaded. I need my downtime. I do see however why it was necessary: my mom badly needed the timeout from all of the crazy she’s been bombarded with.

I officially got back into some of my Buddhist practices last night. They are purification themed, which frankly is fab. The more of it, the merrier.

I’ve been thinking an awful lot today about my goals as a magician, a witch, a priestess, etc–basically on the whole as my spiritual path, ultimately what is my True Will. I always had some vague idea, but it finally coalesced in 2007. It is grand, it is crazy, and it is beautiful…and it’s ultimately why I’m doing this working.

Evening rite went well.

Abramelin, day 47

Morning rite went well. I’ve had some much needed clarity, and it’s given me hope.

I took some more Reiki attunements today, one of which gave me the much needed insight for phase two: how to “pump up the volume” on the prayers, purification, and that “two hour reading” equivalent thereof, since my faith doesn’t really have much in the way of holy texts. Once upon a time, I received the Vajrasattva and Green Tara empowerments (yes, I took refuge and Bodhisatva vows, got my Dharma name, etc). I was good about doing them until I had a lot of personal struggles and issues, then never felt good about getting back into the practice–I don’t know why. That’s shit I’ll have to start digging into, meditate on, find out what happened there, what my blocks were. I think I’ll start doing them again.

I encountered Green Tara even before Apollo. This is old business. 🙂

The Reiki is good stuff. I need to make more of this part of my routine. If I wink out of this plane of existence, it might be more than just the Abramelin.

Evening rite went okay, aside from my once again forgetting a few things. I am learning that this rite is about fucking up and how you handle it. Or more accurately, trying to cultivate mindfulness and end habits which have outlived their usefulness. At least this much I can currently say about phase one of the operation.

Abramelin, day 8

Morning rite done well…albeit yes, some whining about the job sitch. Ugh.

I must say though, something I have observed: I seem to be pushed more often into social situations versus getting the opportunity to spend time solo. I have given this some thought, and I think it’s because I’ve been pretty hermit’d for a while now…especially for me. Beyond online interaction, I don’t do anywhere near the amount of socializing I typically do–and haven’t in quite some time. For an extrovert, it’s weird to suddenly go introvert, although I’m a fairly balanced, middle of the road extrovert with a good deal of introvert qualities. The social interactions are random, and kind of reassuring…for a lack of a better term. I think maybe I needed it a bit? I think maybe I got too comfortable being by myself all the time.

Also been thinking about the whole work situation. It’s funny; I remember in the past when I was in a really, really horrible situation and being taken advantage of right, left, and center…and I just stuck it out. Nowadays I’d be all “fuck that noise” and would be in touch with my recruiters and would drop those idiots like a hot potato. I put up with WAY less crap than I used to, one chunk of it is due to increased sense of self respect and the other is due to a decreased tolerance to stress for No Good Reason. You can only stick around and martyr yourself for an unfixable situation where you’re basically positioned to take the fail for someone else’s ineptitude so many times before you realize it’s just not a good idea. At all.

Still getting a lot of interesting questions about my doing the Abramelin! I’m at the point now where I may as well make up a FAQ on my background or something, lol.

Evening rite went well. This evening was…odd. Prior to the rite, I mean. I did get some interesting insights into cleaning up blockages on a spiritual and magical level leading to the whole cleaning of the vessel, capacity to affect change in the physical world, rend the veil, etc. Interesting stuff, need to meditate some more on it.


Abramelin, day 2

What I am most thankful for is that the earlier sunrise gets, the more likely I can just go back to bed and go to sleep. I know that I will not be able to make every sunset and my best bet will be to be mindful of when it happens and offer up a silent prayer, and do the full rite before I head to bed that evening.

I’ve noticed that things tend to fly out of my mouth during the prayer and I have no idea where they come from. Certain formalities and phrases, some of them reminding me a bit of my Golden Dawn years. I also had two insights this morning, nothing I haven’t reflected on before but things which are becoming more into focus, so to speak.

One of them is the idea that quite frankly, I am a very stubborn soul with a lot of Fire. In short, I am very willful. But my best acts of magic have been when I do what I refer to as “riding the Tao”, the perfect balance between being active and passive. It’s essentially being “actively receptive”. It sounds like a contradiction but it’s very Zen. It’s a Willing to let go.

The other is having every act, thought, and emotion as I do this ritual be somehow geared towards the working itself. Nothing is a “distraction”. From going to work to my fitness regime, everything I do becomes dedicated to the rite.

The night before day 1, I had a dream that I was being recruited to join the military. All I could think to myself was, “Well…um…I like to be in shape….” I can’t relate to the idea of drills and extreme patriotism but hey, I like being in shape. Interesting that I never once thought of the possibility of going to war, killing or being killed. Weird.

I wonder if I’m the only Greek polytheist who has ever done or is doing the Abramelin. The few accounts I’ve read were people who were either very Christian or very Jewish, and I am decidedly neither. While I have found that my prayers have taken on a Neoplatonic vibe, they have been mostly directed at my patron deities: Apollo, Dionysos, and Hermes. And of course, Zeus.

My stomach continues to be super sensitive. I am wondering if it preferred doing the juice/cleansing thing but I can’t keep that up for six months. I am hoping this is temporary. Yesterday I had Indian food for dinner, it was very good but could not finish it. Afterward had chocolate brownie ice cream with hot fudge, Newman Os, and chocolate sprinkles for dessert from FoMu. One of the things that has amused me about the Abramelin is the need to abtain from animal flesh; being vegan already means no change of diet from me. But I am feeling the need to adjust my diet and eat more healthy. I think last night will be a rare thing for me in the future. If my stomach issues continue I may consider going mostly raw vegan. Lunch today was red quinoa/brown rice veggie sushi. My body didn’t like that. I tried other forms of food, no luck. Drinking kombucha and this tropical cleanser (pineapple, cucumber, turmeric, ginger, lime) helped immensely. Tomorrow I do the juicing and smoothie thing again and will attempt solid food again on Monday.

For the evening ritual I asked to be given more clear and direct signs on whether or not it is appropriate to change my diet during the operation and what to in lieu of being sick and in pain. What can I say, I’m direct and to the point.