Abramelin, day 76

Morning rite went well.

Lots of calls today with recruiters, phone screening tomorrow and Friday, next Tuesday I go to Career Source for the mandatory unemployment benefits seminar thing where they get to tell me how to job hunt. I could run that seminar at this point, unfortunately.

Realizing how ridiculously tense I am. Not physically, but mentally. It’s definitely impacting the work. I need to be able to relax, but apparently that’s not a natural state for me these days. I will have to continually remind myself so that it becomes such again. I mention this because I have realized today that it’s almost like I’m clenching a fist, and in doing so I’m blocking out a LOT of input coming in psychically. In a “natural” state, the input is far more than I normally get. It’s like psychic exercising, or something. I think whatever I’m doing with the Abramelin is obviously pumping up the volume but I’ve been too tense to actually just let it in and do its thing in regards to my psychic abilities and awareness.

Which. Explains. Everything.

I will need to be mindful and monitor this as often as I can, and just get used to being in a more relaxed state, and stop shutting everything out. Simply put…I need to let go.

Wow. Wow. Wow.

Evening rite went well.

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