Abramelin, day 253

Morning rite and noon prayer rite went well.

Email from the almond wand maker, it’s apparently in process and should be sent out to me either at the end of this week or beginning of next week. Not sure on ETA but once I have a better idea I’ll know if I can request the time off from my boss before Christmas time as originally planned. I figured this operation would take nine months, so unless the gods see fit to provide any further delays…so be it.

Already on the lookout for a white robe, have the red over robe already plus the black one. I may even have the belt. Interestingly, I can’t help but feel the white robe is something like a bridal gown.

Lots to work on. I have felt the heat turn up significantly over the past few weeks but wow. I won’t lie; I’m a little terrified and anxious. I hope all will go well. All in the hands of the gods now, however.

Evening rite went well.

Abramelin, day 252

Morning rite and noon prayer rite went well.

Stomach issues AGAIN, this time I was in so much pain I thought I was going to puke. What HAVE I been doing differently to deserve this agony? The only thing I can think of, interestingly enough, is too much protein and not enough water.

Still no word on the almond wand.

Work picking up, crazy town on FB today, and almost done with my nutrition certification course in time to start my course to help me prep for my personal training certification exam. Still burning through personal issues but made some breakthroughs.

Evening rite went well.

Abramelin, day 251

Odd dreams all night, probably due to the stomach issues. Woke up in pain but went back to sleep, then dreamed of being passionately kissed by a certain angel from a tv show. If that’s not Abramelin related I don’t know wtf is.

Morning rite and noon prayer rite went well.

So much work to do but stuff is falling into place. I am going to need some serious weekends to myself. I am nowhere near where I want to be, where I’d like to be, where I NEED to be. I do feel like I’m moving forward but there’s some things which feel like a chasm I don’t know how to cross.

Evening rite went well.

Abramelin, day 250

Morning and noon rite went well.

Totally drained today but managed to get some laundry and other errands done. Having stomach issues, probably due to two days in a row of having New York bagels. Oh New York bagels I miss you but you are death to me over certain quantities. Damn you mild wheat intolerance.

Found myself engaging in old habits online. I blame the being drained and being frustrated with processing certain shit.

Evening rite went okay, I mentioned disconnecting me from the Internet to my gods and HGA and sure enough, 30 minutes prior to bedtime the Internet on my laptop mysteriously stopped working. They really do take me at my word. Internet was back up in the morning.

Abramelin, day 248

Morning rite and noon prayer rite went well.

Spent day relaxing with family, also managed to get more Abramelin incense and charcoal for the rite.

I keep getting jerked back and forth between normal awareness of what is going on and an over-abundant awareness of change and the passing of time. That whiplash again. Still battling personal bullshit too. Surprisingly challenging day, felt like review of past crap in a way. Wonder what made it come up. Reached conclusion later that I am sleep depped and it does me no favors. Gentle reminder to self to get better sleeping habits.

Evening prayer rite went well.

Abramelin, day 247

Morning rite and noon prayer rite went well.

Got an early dismissal from work, was able to prepare and pack for Thanksgiving travel.

Very close to finishing my nutrition certification, have signed myself up for a class for my NASM fitness trainer certification as well. With any luck I should be able to take the test when I’m done and pass. Also got an invite to be on Rufus Opus’ podcast discussing my experiences with the Abramelin so far, so look for that. More details when I have it but should be in a few weeks.

It’s a time for dealing with loose ends.

Evening rite went well.

Abramelin, day 246

Morning rite and noon prayer rite went well.

Still chugging away at work. This is a strange place. I don’t mean that as a complaint; they just seem a bit disorganized. We’ll see how it goes.

I’m going back and forth between reading Seven Spheres by Rufus Opus and Domain Driven Design by Eric Evans. It’s whiplash.

Optimistic as ever.

Evening rite went well.

Abramelin, day 245

Morning rite and noon prayer rite went well.

Heard back from the almond wand place, they’re trying to get in touch with the wand maker for an update and will let me know soon.

Work has picked up the pace DRAMATICALLY. In meeting #2 had this overwhelming feeling I was just where I needed to be. Everything is falling into place.

For the first time in a while, I’m feeling ridiculously awesome and optimistic.

Evening rite went well.

Abramelin, day 244

Morning rite and noon prayer rite went well.

Had rite to Hekate in the evening, was a pretty intense ritual but one of those where I knew right after that the effects would not be immediate but take some time behind the scenes.

Leaf raking, that time of year. Am wiped. Came home after the ritual, did evening rite, then passed out.

Tomorrow is another day.