Morning rite went well, noon prayer rite I barely managed to make in but felt went okay regardless.
I can see why this job is good for me: there’s been hardly any work since I started since they’re still scrambling around for the project requirements and hiring more people. It gives me the downtime I need before I end this rite, which if all goes well with that almond wand should be soon.
I still feel like I have a lot to work on but I am grateful to have come as far as I have, above and beyond grateful. I can’t begin to express that enough. I am in a VERY different place than when I started.
Email from the almond wand maker, it’s apparently in process and should be sent out to me either at the end of this week or beginning of next week. Not sure on ETA but once I have a better idea I’ll know if I can request the time off from my boss before Christmas time as originally planned. I figured this operation would take nine months, so unless the gods see fit to provide any further delays…so be it.
Already on the lookout for a white robe, have the red over robe already plus the black one. I may even have the belt. Interestingly, I can’t help but feel the white robe is something like a bridal gown.
Lots to work on. I have felt the heat turn up significantly over the past few weeks but wow. I won’t lie; I’m a little terrified and anxious. I hope all will go well. All in the hands of the gods now, however.
Stomach issues AGAIN, this time I was in so much pain I thought I was going to puke. What HAVE I been doing differently to deserve this agony? The only thing I can think of, interestingly enough, is too much protein and not enough water.
Still no word on the almond wand.
Work picking up, crazy town on FB today, and almost done with my nutrition certification course in time to start my course to help me prep for my personal training certification exam. Still burning through personal issues but made some breakthroughs.
Odd dreams all night, probably due to the stomach issues. Woke up in pain but went back to sleep, then dreamed of being passionately kissed by a certain angel from a tv show. If that’s not Abramelin related I don’t know wtf is.
Morning rite and noon prayer rite went well.
So much work to do but stuff is falling into place. I am going to need some serious weekends to myself. I am nowhere near where I want to be, where I’d like to be, where I NEED to be. I do feel like I’m moving forward but there’s some things which feel like a chasm I don’t know how to cross.
Totally drained today but managed to get some laundry and other errands done. Having stomach issues, probably due to two days in a row of having New York bagels. Oh New York bagels I miss you but you are death to me over certain quantities. Damn you mild wheat intolerance.
Found myself engaging in old habits online. I blame the being drained and being frustrated with processing certain shit.
Evening rite went okay, I mentioned disconnecting me from the Internet to my gods and HGA and sure enough, 30 minutes prior to bedtime the Internet on my laptop mysteriously stopped working. They really do take me at my word. Internet was back up in the morning.
Spent day relaxing with family, also managed to get more Abramelin incense and charcoal for the rite.
I keep getting jerked back and forth between normal awareness of what is going on and an over-abundant awareness of change and the passing of time. That whiplash again. Still battling personal bullshit too. Surprisingly challenging day, felt like review of past crap in a way. Wonder what made it come up. Reached conclusion later that I am sleep depped and it does me no favors. Gentle reminder to self to get better sleeping habits.
Got an early dismissal from work, was able to prepare and pack for Thanksgiving travel.
Very close to finishing my nutrition certification, have signed myself up for a class for my NASM fitness trainer certification as well. With any luck I should be able to take the test when I’m done and pass. Also got an invite to be on Rufus Opus’ podcast discussing my experiences with the Abramelin so far, so look for that. More details when I have it but should be in a few weeks.