Tag Archives: spiritual path

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Abramelin, day 171

Woke up in the middle of the night from an intense dream–at least I think it was a dream–where I had astrally projected into my living room downstairs. It was VERY vivid, and I knew immediately that I was “awake” and on the astral. Initially I panicked but then I saw this super tall, white glowing figure in the center of my living room. He radiated calm and everything around me glowed with a sense of joy. I didn’t feel joy but I saw joy. Very hard to describe. Everything was light, and everything was good.

I didn’t get much sleep after that as it took me forever to get back to sleep. My mind was just racing.

Morning rite went well, as did noon prayer rite.

I keep thinking about the astral projection/dream. Real Life’s “Send Me An Angel” keeps playing in my head. I’m running on very little sleep and had just enough energy to get work done, get home, and cuddle with kitties.

Evening rite went well.

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Abramelin, day 170

Both morning and noon rites went well.

When I take stock of my current situation, I’m painfully aware of why my stress levels are where they’re at:

  1. My grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.
  2. One of my kitties almost died on me and now needs twice a day insulin shots for her diabetes.
  3. Work drama may cost me my job down the road.
  4. A major storm did enough damage to my car last night that it will need to go into the shop. I’m just lucky that it fell in such a  way that my car didn’t get totaled.

And this isn’t even remotely touching the rite and everything connected to it.

I need to become self employed, gods help me. But most importantly, I need to accomplish what I set out to do and why I decided to do this rite to begin with. And I need to not confuse related matters with it and get shit tangled up in such a way that it becomes that much more intense.

More than a little overwhelmed right now.

Evening rite went well.

 

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Abramelin, day 169

Morning rite went well.

My father left today, leaving me alone with the kitties. I got to relax, which is a rare thing at this point in time. I wish it would be less rare.

Noon rite went well, but towards the start I had a vision of Apollo looking at me with an expression of amusement and “Ahem?”. I get nervous now when I have visions of deities during this rite complete with facial expressions. I am officially nervous. If nervous had a color I’d be wearing it.

I am wondering if this rite will be over once my current job contract is. That would make a lot of sense.

Evening rite went well.

 

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Abramelin, day 168

Morning rite went well.

I continue to deal with the work, kitty, and family dramas.

Noon prayer rite went well, walk after.

I can’t begin to say how much I’m glad it’s the weekend. Holding on, one day at a time.

I am badly in need of resolution on many fronts.

Evening rite went well.

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Abramelin, day 167

Morning rite went well.

Kitties are doing well. Giving meds orally to a full grown cat, however, is never fun. And it’s twice a day.

Job nonsense continues. I need to grin and bear it, and move on when my contract ends.

Noon prayer rite went well, walk afterwards.

I have a lot of personal shit that I’m processing, and frankly much of it just needs to just be shelved either temporarily or permanently. And it’s a long time in coming.

I need to focus on the big picture.

Evening rite went well.

 

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Abramelin, day 166

Morning rite went well.

Lots of anxiety about my job, about completing this rite, everything really.

My kitty’s checkup went well however. She’s going to be fine.

Noon prayer rite went well, walk after.

I don’t know where I’m going from here but I feel very tightly pulled in multiple directions. Am I going to make it? Is this having any effect at all?

Evening rite went well.

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Abramelin, day 165

Morning rite went well.

Did NOT sleep very well last night. Very glad for my dad in town; he’s going to help me with the kitty thing. She needs a checkup tomorrow and I’ll be at work, and given the work drama I can’t afford to miss any more time.

Noon prayer rite went well, walk after.

My stress levels are declining, thankfully. I keep praying for a break. I do not think this job will go past 6 months. I just hope to make it that long. My dad has heard the full tale and agrees with me. Too many red flags.

Lots of cuddle time with cats. They’ve earned it. So have I.

Evening rite went well.

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Abramelin, day 164

Dreamed of Dionysos last night. Apparently it’s Greek gods central in my brain. Again, VERY vivid dreams.

Morning rite went well. My other cat is still giving the other one trouble. Ugh. Spent lots of time this morning huggling the two of them. Sisters, meh. My dad has offered to come up and help out with the kitties for the next week or so and I may take him up on it. I’m overwhelmed by everything.

Noon rite went well. I feel closer to the finish than the start for the Abramelin, that’s for sure. It’s just a matter of when I’m done “cooking”.

Day spent doing work from home, kitties, out for dinner, more kitties, more work…I need downtime.

Evening rite went well.

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Abramelin, day 163

Morning rite went well.

Got the call to come pick up my kitty and made the appointment, took care of noon rite first then did my errands.

Much of today was spent running around dealing with kitty related stuff: getting the meds, the food, the everything. She’s a sweetie but she’s not loving the dropper of antibiotics and potassium supplements I’m forced to put into her mouth. The insulin shots are just barely doable. And her sister is hissing at her because she smells funny from having been in ICU with lots of others cats and dogs for so long.  I will probably have a visit from my dad to help me with all of this shit. In the meantime I have a very real and painful headache and I’m more than a little overwhelmed. It’s been a rough week.

I need a break.

Got some nice cuddle time with kitties in hallway. Just sort of went to lie down on the floor and suddenly it was purr time. That helped, at least.

Evening rite went well.

I’ll be ending the evening with a lavender filled pillow over my eyes and some painkillers.

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Abramelin, day 162

Had a number of vivid dreams last night, but one that stood out in my mind was about the goddess Diana. There was something in it being communicated about the relationship between her being associated with dancing and the bow, something about dance and the bow. It reminded me something of Tai Chi or some form of martial arts. Later I was given an image of three goddesses and were told they were all her, and that monotheists went to the extreme in interpreting this but that “hard” polytheists today don’t get it either. The nature is fluidity, and the goddess Diana is those three and is herself. I don’t know who the three were; the names escape me but it was a triad much in the way that the Moirai is a triad.

I thought I may have been been “tapped” before but this confirms it. Think I’ll need to spend more time with that particular goddess.

Morning rite went well.

Went from one errand to another to visiting my kitty and before I knew it, noon rite was VERY late. But it was done.

Late night visiting the kitty. I hope tomorrow really is the day she can come home.

The stress is getting to me, but I admit shit’s ramping up. I See shit more frequently, I’m way more open. I’m surprised it’s not scaring me more than it is.

Evening rite went well.