Abramelin, day 20

More dreams, this time about some people trying to infect others with this strange gas that turned them into zombies. I was unable to save the guy whom I was with, and remember looking into his eyes and seeing nothing there, just eyes like cartoon eyes. I was still trying to find a cure before the dream ended. I think I need continue to heed Abraham’s warning and take care of the laundry. You’d think cleaning the rest of my room would’ve counted, however. Unfortunately cleaning all of my bed linens, blankets, etc is about a 3-4 hour process and that time was spent dealing with a friend’s death, cleaning my house, and other obligations this past weekend.

Ah well.

Morning rite went well, although I admit I spent some time whining. Luckily my HGA is patient and understanding, or so I pray.

I had a house appraisal done this morning for my mortgage refi, and all I could do was cross my fingers that the altars in my bedroom and temple room didn’t freak them out too much. But one of my little kitties kept following them everywhere. XD Silly kitty.

I went back through my past entries and couldn’t help but notice that the vision I had of Hermes, wanting to tell me something? Happened the day before my friend’s death. Yeah. Anyhow.

I’m doing much better. My temp is normal and near normal, and while I can still feel the ick being fought off in my system I feel like I’m coming out of a long drugged state. I can think more clearly. It’s a good thing.

Evening rite went okay but yeah…more whining. I hate whining. But I also hate being reminded of how much bullshit I need to purge from my life and catching myself dwelling on it besides. I need to catch myself before I start tossing emotional and magical energy into black holes. But I’m in a job I can’t help but notice I have very little confidence in; I’ve been tossed into a hot mess and there’s slim to none chance I can resolve the situation and more than likely will be sacrificed as a scapegoat for it. And this is just the start of the list of things currently troubling me.

Burn, heal, grow.

Purge, cleanse, evolve.

Tomorrow is another day.

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