Abramelin, day 45

Morning rite went…okay. I still have a lot of major things on my mind, and I badly need some answers to a long term, pressing issue. I can’t let it get in the way of the operation and I can’t let me get in the way, either. But I need to know the truth, because I need to be free. I badly need to be free.

I’ve been having a lot of flying dreams as of late. It hasn’t been about escape as much as it’s been about being free and rising above bullshit.

Yesterday I spoke with a friend who sounds like he’s really coming into his own as a natural healer and spiritual counselor. I rather relate to that. My primary path seems to be more on the oracular side (Apollo pretty much has me by the scruff of the neck on that one), but I notice that both healing and oracular work both tend to dovetail into spiritual counseling. It’s just how it goes.

I had a dream last night that I decided to pursue a Master’s degree in counseling.  I tend to have a LOT of back to school dreams, not all of them good. There’s always the classic of “I just realized that I’m enrolled in school, half a semester has gone by and I have not attended any of my classes” dreams. Last night was a little bit of that, realizing that I was supposed to be in classes all day but wasn’t. I get a LOT of that. Why do I not know I’m supposed to be in class, and why aren’t I getting that information? Is this something I should be responsible for but don’t realize it and therefore am not doing it? Ugh. I think the hands down worst recurring dream is the one where I have forgotten I’m enrolled in an advanced Calculus class, half a semester has gone by and I need to start showing up, I get there and the professor might as well be talking in Chinese. It must be noted that my two semesters of Calculus were hell and taught by very, very bad professors, one of whom left and did not return for unknown reasons. Hm.

I have absolutely zero energy today, even less than yesterday. Taking this as a sign to slooowwwww dowwwwwwwn and relax. I’m just so wiped. I wound up taking a nap in the evening–something I NEVER do–then did a rite for Apollo plus tarot readings for people since today is Apollo day.  I ended the day with watching V for Vendetta.

Evening rite went well.

 

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