Abramelin, day 156

Dreamed a former friend of mine woke up to his codependent relationship and decided to divorce his wife, and I heard about it second hand. I was happy for him but knew he’d probably be back in the same pattern with someone else.

Morning rite went well.

I’m going to attempt something different for today versus the typical “fasting” crap that kept making me ill. Healthy smoothies, dried fruit, nuts, seeds, veggies, etc. It’ll make me feel good, will be healthy, and something different from the norm. We’ll see how that goes instead. That and tea, of course.

Samhain is beating on my brain. I don’t ordinarily feel this in the air until September, but it’s starting early this year. Either it’s the weather, I’m just that more sensitive to the energies of the approaching season, or something with my personal alchemy is screaming “change is coming, the veil is getting thinner”. There is admittedly an internal weirdness going on. On one hand I feel like I’m on the edge of something very important but on the other I feel like something very crucial is missing. I feel like I’m about to board a train and I’m just waiting for it to show up but I don’t even know if I’m at the right platform.

Noon rite went well.

I feel like I’m about to accomplish something next to impossible and utterly magical, or possibly might crash and burn. There’s an issue I badly need to resolve, but I don’t foresee any way to do so prior to completing the Abramelin. I’ll either need to make it work for me or get it taken care of. I really don’t know what to do.

Evening rite went okay, but so much shit to deal with. I just want it resolved already, even if it means I’m on the 18 month course.


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