Abramelin, day 38

Morning rite went well. I put in a few words in about some people whom I know.

Yesterday on my way home from the dinner party, I passed by a car that has the license plate “HERO”. This made me raise an eyebrow, but I kept looking at the cars after it. Following it was a car with a bumper sticker that said “Yay! Angels”.


I’ve often said that I want to be a magical superhero, and I mean like real deal X-Men kind of a thing. But don’t misunderstand me; I know that even the smallest of actions can have a life transforming effect for someone else. I’d like to do good things both big and small.

My past keeps coming back to me in the oddest ways, through people and circumstances. Getting a nice review of past lessons, and using that for the future. I really do see a future for myself helping others to work through and heal from spiritual crises, trauma, and abuse from bad occult/religious groups. I think a lot of people whom I know have worked through their issues but I wonder how much they’ve genuinely healed. Some stuff can be a very, very hard thing to heal from. And the rest is making sure no one, including yourself, gets hurt ever again. There are some people out there who badly need legal justice and have broken real laws. I think a lot of people hesitate to act and think that they alone were the ones who were hurt, not aware of the fact that whoever hurt them is bound to do it to others. It’s what has made me come forward and speak publicly on cult leaders and sexual predators. The key is balancing all that with getting the proper self care. I think so many become so obsessed with justice they don’t take the time to get the healing they badly need, and wind up repeating the same mistakes with other groups, other people. I speak from sad experience.

I saw something about Mars retro in Libra. Libra is about balance, the scales. Is this retrograde a karmic redressing and exposure of wrongs? Something to think about. My grasp of astrology is better than the average person’s but I am by no means an expert. I save my bullshit for the tarot and Greek religion and philosophy.

Evening rite went well but once again, wiped.

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