Abramelin, day 34

Morning rite went well. Last night got a bit…well, intense, so there was some struggles.

The day however seemed to veer in an entirely different direction. I don’t know if I’m turning into some pagan/occult version of Veronica Mars or reeling in the strange, elusive karma which seems to haunt me in regards to Calling People On Their Shit. To my credit, I DID confront the perpetrator with what was said about me. Of course he denied it…then went to others and not only restated what he did but claims that I am the one lying about it. Fascinating.

It is a challenge not to have emotional investment. 1) I do not like people being abused and used in my name, or people name dropping me in order to manipulate others and 2) I know what it’s like to be screwed and deceived before in the name of spiritual and magical development, so it’s an issue deeply personal to me. It’s hard not to react. It’s hard not to been incredibly skeeved and creeped out by what has been said about me (the person in question has some deeply rooted clinical issues and is apparently quite obsessed with me) and it’s also hard not to be filled with utter rage that people were abused like this while my name was being dropped as proof that this person was on the level, which he obviously was and is not.

This issue and the mortgage refi drama basically framed my day, but the latter was really a drop in the bucket. I am doing my best to keep a level head and focus on what I need to, but I had my little shit fit and acted accordingly. No details, just suffice to say I put in an appropriate request, a message in the bottle for those who need to know, so to speak.

Evening rite went well, I think. I asked for clarity on many things and just spoke my heart, as always. It’s all I can do.

It’s interesting to see the pattern of entries right before certain issues come up. It’s like I have my finger on the pulse before things happen. First my friend, then this.

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