Abramelin, day 3

I woke up 15 minutes before I was due to do the ritual for the morning from a dream in which I had become a fictional character in my own world, and that “Scarlet Magdalene” was a new character on Doctor Who. Not even my real name, but the name I go by publicly in occult communities. The interesting thing was that in the episode I was brought in, there was a problem. There were TWO Doctors, the one that exists in this universe on tv and another one from another universe, and I somehow managed to cause this collision course between the worlds and hence became both real and fictional in this one. In the program guide online in talking about “me” they kept referring to me as Scarlet or Magdalene interchangeably as if they didn’t know what they would call me. Like no one is named Scarlet? Ha. Interesting.

Morning rite went well. I came back to my room, went online, and discovered that drama had been started on my FB by someone who was hoping to use pretending to know more about magic than I do in order to be a condescending pickup artist. All wondering aside if avoiding FB and people online needs to be done earlier in the operation than I would like, I wonder if the dream and the drama were somehow related. While I don’t feel the need to be entirely removed from the online world and social interaction just yet, I DO wonder if I am asking to be dragged into people’s spheres of personal melodrama and nonsense by doing so. Online I might as well be a fictional character with people attempting to interpret what I say and do for their own devices and doing the equivalent of writing fanfic about it.

I really don’t believe there is any difference other than perception between religion, myth, and fiction, and this isn’t to say that religion is false or that fiction is holy writ but instead that I am a big supporter of the multiple worlds theory, and that the idea of becoming a hero is about becoming a part of the body of myth and legend and in essence, achieving immortality. Not just through the remembrance and stories, but part of a larger set of realities beyond this small one of which we are only a mere part. I have more thoughts on this also but find it hard to put them into writing.

But in other news, no more stomach nonsense and pain. I took it easy today regardless, although I DID manage to have solid food. Woo.

Something I have noticed, especially during the evening ritual…so much of this is prayer, so much of it is confessional, the pouring of the heart out on so many things. In the process of this half rambling, half prayer, I stumbled across something important. I think some magicians may err in this is the false dichotomy of this rite in relation with the “rest of their lives”. On one hand, you don’t want to get sucked into bullshit which would be detrimental to the rite and to ultimate unification and K&C with your HGA. But on the other…creating and aiding that division between what is the rite and the “rest of your life” can give a push/pull which I don’t think is healthy and will lead to issues later on in trying to reconcile oneself after the rite is complete. Also, I think that mindfulness and pulling everything in will assist in bringing things to manifestation and true fruition. You just have to avoid the trap of getting caught in people’s muck and black holes.

Those are my thoughts for now.

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