Morning rite done. I had placed a bunch of empty tealights outside the temple room door, and just as I was finishing up my opening prayer I heard a “mrrrrr” then a white paw reached out from under the door to bat one of the empty tealight containers into the room. I couldn’t stop laughing for a good couple of minutes. My cats are supernaturally cute, and it’s really not unlike having furry, four legging toddlers running around. Interesting how the Abramelin stresses not letting animals into the oratory. Honestly, my furbabies have been banned from my temple room ever since they were kittens and managed to break a lamp and decapitate poor Pan.
Among the things I’m reflecting on is having more patience with myself, to see this process through and realize that changes will come over time, that while I am far from perfect this rite is also far from over. I could perceive Hermes at one point during the rite. I feel that he has a message for me.
More thoughts from my reading as posted earlier:
“Still reading through Marriage of Cadmus and Harmony and up to the part of the book where it discusses Dionysos and his various loves and lovers. One thing that strikes me is that it talks about Dionysos almost as if he gets bored easily and jumps from one person to the next. I actually think it’s the exact opposite. It’s not that the god feels nothing or changes easily; I think the god feels everything, all of that, all at once. One new lover doesn’t change feelings for a past one, it gets tacked on. I think the god feels too much, all at once, on a divine level and scale and that is maybe perhaps why he is known as the ‘mad god’.”
Dionysos may be the most misunderstood god in all of the Greek pantheon, and I blame Jung for this. Too many people thanks to Jung pigeonholed Apollo as god of “rationality” and Dionysos is a god of “passion”, not to mention the whole interpretation of Dionysos as “god of parties”. Has anyone even remotely read the Bacchae? I somehow don’t think Pentheus thought he needed to be wearing a party hat during his last moments. >.> In any event…it is my personal spiritual experience that Apollo is the one who has a goofy sense of humor and Dionysos is absurdly deathly serious.
With the help of a friend, I got some much needed cleansing/chakra work done tonight. Still very lightheaded. Went into evening ritual feeling more in the flow of things, however, and a better sense of what direction I need to be moving in.
It’s funny how many people either think I am crazy for doing this rite or just plain brave. I’m sure some are thinking “both”. They are probably much closer to the truth. Others, I’m sure, are wondering why I’m undertaking this under imperfect conditions. I can’t wait for perfect conditions. If I waited for perfect conditions in all things I would accomplish nothing. Like the man in the Fool card, I have to take that first step off that cliff. Fuck perfect conditions.