Some personal struggles still. I despair at certain shit remaining unresolved until after the Abramelin, but we can’t all be perfect.
I think I figured out the problem with my stomach. I had suspected it to be the case but wasn’t completely certain. I changed the balance of my diet from 50-25-25 (% calories from carbs, fats, and proteins) to 40-30-30 and my body didn’t like the sharp increase of protein. At all. I’m going to switch back to 50-25-25 and see if that resolves things. I may also have to talk to some people and find out if I need special enzymes in my diet or something. Ridiculous.
Started my CPT exam prep class today and moved to the new office space at work. I now share an office and have a desk next to the window with a beautiful view of downtown Boston. Life is good. I will say however that this is the strangest job I’ve ever had, and the absolute worst case of disorganization in the history of ever. I don’t dislike it but wow, it is complete chaos. But I’m receiving good benefits and paychecks so…so be it.
Still no word on the wand. I have NO idea now if it’ll even be possible to finagle the time off of work without promising to be able to work from home. I suspect my final week, like much of the operation, will come with some compromises. No excuses, as they say.
Morning and noon rite went well. Morning done in bed because still wasn’t feeling well.
Managed to have groceries delivered to me, signed up for the advanced nutrition course, and got food prepped for the week. Managed a workout later once I wasn’t feeling like crap.
Also found a velvet white robe/dress that I MAYBE wore once and I can’t even remember doing that. Machine washable, too. I appear to be set on tools, now just to get that final update on the almond wand.
Still having stomach issues, so am drinking tea and water infused with lemon. Good shit. This is clearly how I will survive. I have NO idea what’s going on but it’s severely limiting my food intake. Pumping in the fluids and sleeping more than usual. What more can I do?
Morning rite went well, noon prayer rite I barely managed to make in but felt went okay regardless.
I can see why this job is good for me: there’s been hardly any work since I started since they’re still scrambling around for the project requirements and hiring more people. It gives me the downtime I need before I end this rite, which if all goes well with that almond wand should be soon.
I still feel like I have a lot to work on but I am grateful to have come as far as I have, above and beyond grateful. I can’t begin to express that enough. I am in a VERY different place than when I started.
Email from the almond wand maker, it’s apparently in process and should be sent out to me either at the end of this week or beginning of next week. Not sure on ETA but once I have a better idea I’ll know if I can request the time off from my boss before Christmas time as originally planned. I figured this operation would take nine months, so unless the gods see fit to provide any further delays…so be it.
Already on the lookout for a white robe, have the red over robe already plus the black one. I may even have the belt. Interestingly, I can’t help but feel the white robe is something like a bridal gown.
Lots to work on. I have felt the heat turn up significantly over the past few weeks but wow. I won’t lie; I’m a little terrified and anxious. I hope all will go well. All in the hands of the gods now, however.
Stomach issues AGAIN, this time I was in so much pain I thought I was going to puke. What HAVE I been doing differently to deserve this agony? The only thing I can think of, interestingly enough, is too much protein and not enough water.
Still no word on the almond wand.
Work picking up, crazy town on FB today, and almost done with my nutrition certification course in time to start my course to help me prep for my personal training certification exam. Still burning through personal issues but made some breakthroughs.
Odd dreams all night, probably due to the stomach issues. Woke up in pain but went back to sleep, then dreamed of being passionately kissed by a certain angel from a tv show. If that’s not Abramelin related I don’t know wtf is.
Morning rite and noon prayer rite went well.
So much work to do but stuff is falling into place. I am going to need some serious weekends to myself. I am nowhere near where I want to be, where I’d like to be, where I NEED to be. I do feel like I’m moving forward but there’s some things which feel like a chasm I don’t know how to cross.
Totally drained today but managed to get some laundry and other errands done. Having stomach issues, probably due to two days in a row of having New York bagels. Oh New York bagels I miss you but you are death to me over certain quantities. Damn you mild wheat intolerance.
Found myself engaging in old habits online. I blame the being drained and being frustrated with processing certain shit.
Evening rite went okay, I mentioned disconnecting me from the Internet to my gods and HGA and sure enough, 30 minutes prior to bedtime the Internet on my laptop mysteriously stopped working. They really do take me at my word. Internet was back up in the morning.