Abramelin, day 188

Morning rite and noon prayer rite went well.

Long, intense day doing a lot of thinking. All of the bosses are away at a remote location so today and tomorrow are days to breathe, or at least try. Still putting forth a good faith effort.

Purification shower tonight. Having these nightly is a GOOD thing.

Had some realizations, none of which I haven’t had before, but on things I really hoped had been done over and put to rest. Certain people nee to let go of their bullshit surrounding me and stop dragging me into their internal dramas. I am not responsible for their emotional states nor their scapegoat for assuming responsibility over their own fucking lives, end of.

Became smack up against how much things have changed for me to the point of being dizzying. Thought about the dream I had last week that I didn’t go into detail about. In summary, I had a vision of eternity, and it was not all blissful and serene like so many people seem to think it is. It is relentless, unyielding, and crushes everything in its path. It is a power and force beyond measure. It outnumbers the stars and will outlive this universe and all others. It’s actually rather terrifying.

Evening rite went well.

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