Abramelin, day 152

Morning rite went well.

And yes, finally, at long last, the one issue that I put on the backburner to deal with the more pressing and important shit has FINALLY come up and is actually gaining some ground. I take it as a good sign; it will be the toughest fucking shit I will have to deal with during this entire operation and the fact that I CAN deal with it right now has to be a good thing. However…at the same time, it’s an energy suck. I don’t have the bandwidth and so much of it is steeped in intense drama llama. I don’t think I can handle this right now. I don’t even think there’s a constructive way in which to do so. Simply put: I don’t think I’m ready and I don’t have bandwidth/resources.

Noon prayer rite went well.

Fought with some online bullshit. Gods, what a time waster. Why? Bullshit stalkers who obsess over me to the point of insanity¬†and harass everyone who comes near me as a result, and they don’t even know who I am. Even anonymity can’t save from such types; I can’t even source mild Internet fame in small corners as the cause of this, and other people have been dragged into it and are getting harassed too. Gods help me.

Evening rite went okay, but I am beyond frustrated. I’m past whining and am to the point of ranting. Way too much in the way of drama dumped in my lap in various corners of my life. I have begged my gods to either find a way for it to be resolved or table it until after K&C. I can’t afford the mental/emotional/psychic suck right now. I just can’t.

Please dear gods, aid me in purging my personal bullshit. Properly prepare me to get my shit in gear so that I may complete this rite successfully. Please.

 

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