Abramelin, day 114

There is absolutely, positively no doubt in my mind whatsoever that I am definitely in phase three. That dream I had this morning was very intense. I had something/someone very, very evil who was following me and watching me. The entire scenery went into non-reality–all geometric shapes and lines–and I called out for someone whom I know for help. The end of the dream was lucid, vivid–surround sound. I could feel myself physically there, could feel sensations I wouldn’t have otherwise. I was rambling to that person about what was going on and I could tell he didn’t understand, but the more I stayed with him the more I was okay. When I woke up I could smell some strange, very sweet fragrance, turned out to be coming from my bracelets. I am not there yet, but welcome to phase three.

Gods help me. This shit is no joke, and they do not fuck around.

Morning rite went well. Turned out I had the perfect robe right in my temple room, barely worn but perfect for the rite. Incense lit.

Was out running errands when noon hit, so did prayers instead. Was hoping to do a full rite later, but time got away from me. Tomorrow is another day. I backed out of plans that involved more lengthy driving/car trips because I am still wiped from my trip this week. I just can’t.

Today is a struggle, caught between being high and filled with serenity yet stressed as hell. Everything is a struggle. I’ve crash landed and I don’t know what’s going to become of me. Gods help me. I’m reading through my notes, and if I’m right, the convocation of the HGA is three days and the convocation of the spirits is another three. Is that right? How the frack am I going to be able to take a week off from work in a new job? Oh gods help me.

Evening rite went well, and it’s not just the hour or anything; I’m high afterward. Something about this rite now is deeply uplifting, and even if it’s a struggle to get me in the temple room initially, afterward I feel amazing. Rather like workouts, really.



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