Abramelin, day 69

A strange dream about the lights suddenly going out outside my home startled me awake, and I realized it was sunrise. Managed to sneak into my temple room and do the rite. It went well.

Had another dream too about an old friend, someone who had become toxic due to an abusive relationship and whose friendship I had to cut off. I very rarely dream about her anymore and I wonder what it means. She had been my closest friend prior to the nonsense and in a very real way I often feel like she died and someone else had taken her place. I remember something in the dream about an anime convention, I think in San Fran. Very strange.

Today starts another day of working from home, job hunting, and my parents being here. I get to hear ALL about the family drama. My mom sounds about as stressed as I am if not more so, albeit for very different reasons. Right now her being here is a vacation for her and a chance to mentally and physically unwind. Not a bad thing.

I had two phone interviews today.First was a screening from HR, the second was putting me through the technical ringer. I feel confident that I did my best but man did some of that shit get in depth.

Got yet another person who was very, very upset at me posting publicly about my experiences with the Abramelin. Quoth he: “Most Masters would advise you to keep a separation between your magical and mundane selves.” I informed him that no true Master would EVER say that. First of all…such a separation does not exist. They are one in the same. Secondly…such a false dichotomy would set you up for some serious personality disorders. Key is integration, not separation. I am doing this rite with a job, while job hunting, and dealing with every day matters. You do not need to divorce yourself from the world to do this operation; you only need to be mindful of the alchemy and be receptive to what follows. As time goes on…yes, I can guarantee I will be a lot quieter online, save for these entries.

I may write a book after this based on this blog and include the entries in them with commentary.

I have a lot going on and a lot on my mind. I am trying to find the best approach, and in my prayers has been the same request: whatever happens, have it help me with the Abramelin as opposed to hurting me.

Evening rite went well.

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