Morning ritual went well. Some whining but to be expected, I suppose.
Last night was an amazing ritual with my coven. At some point during it, I realized for better or for worse, I had to let go of something. In the process of doing so, it was like everything just burst wide open. Astral sight very nearly melded with physical sight, and I could see for a few moments so many people and their connections to spirit and to everything. I could see the energy running through the participants like a strong electrical current. No matter what I could do, grounding was impossible after that and I was dizzy and spacey. I left at a semi-reasonable hour, fed the cats, did the evening Abramelin rite, and went to bed.
Today was trying. As in, trying my patience. Lots of personal issues I’m fighting with. I went for a long walk to and from meeting a friend for dinner and it helped.
I did many, many short divinations today for people on behalf of Apollo and it was good. However, I am now exhausted and I ran out of time to get my laundry done, particularly for my bedding.
It must be said…everything I needed to know or comprehend from my conversations with my HGA has been through watching the tv show Supernatural. If you have not seen the show, do. They even use Enochian. Anyhow, Castiel IS my HGA. The temperament is terribly, terribly similar, and attempting the hell to communicate can be…interesting.
I’ve been reading the Holy Guardian Angel book from Nephilim Press, and there’s an essay in there that’s very spot on in my experience with the HGA. Years ago, I achieved conversation with my HGA. I took it as K&C because hey, who wouldn’t? I learned the VERY hard way that there’s conversation, and then there’s knowledge and conversation. I don’t think it’s intuitive; I think it’s an easy error that people make often. Without a basis of comparison, how would you know? And who would? After years of studying and practicing magic, it’s very gratifying (and often humbling) to know that I am still a Dumbass Neophyte.
Evening rite went…okay. I had the immediate impression upon stepping into the temple room that I was in desperate need of a scolding. I apologized for my continued bullshit and expressed a strong and sincere interest in removing my bullshit. While tomorrow is another day, I don’t know how to get myself straightened out. I need further communion with Apollo.
Attempting the hell to communicate continues. Cleanse, purge, etc.